So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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