i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize