Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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