Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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