His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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