I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
