did you get engaged???
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
how drunk are you?
Several
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
