We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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