well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
