Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
