Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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