pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
