Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
