And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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