I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm too high and old for this...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
