What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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