can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
