after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
