Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
