i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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