The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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