if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize