Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize