I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize