this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you never un-have a 4some
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
