im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
