Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
