I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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