well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
