u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
