THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize