His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
