I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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