I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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