I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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