U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
