I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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