At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
