anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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