You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
