You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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