At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
