Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
