I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize