dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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