now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my sisters under your porch take her home
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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