I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
