are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
