white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
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