I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
