I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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