coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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