I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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