Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize