i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
