It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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