maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
