And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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