A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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